(I need for any potential employers to erase the previous sentence and the existence of this blog from their memory, and believe I'm a perfectly self-motivated individual with energizer-bunny drive and the focus of a bald eagle with binoculars... who never writes run-on sentences.)
It makes sense that if I don't have a job, and Jason is working his butt off at school, I should be doing an equal amount of work in job-seeking and housewifery, yes?
Let's just say, it's so bad that I get aprons as gag gifts.
|Click to zoom. If you dare.|
Euphemisms of the past:
Dinner isn't late, it's... suspenseful.
Dinner isn't burnt/completely carcinogenic/could be used as charcoal sticks for caveman drawings, it's... smokey. Or "Cajun?"
And the biohazards in the fridge? Just think of them as biodiversity. Flourishing biodiversity. Perhaps you prefer the term "wildlife?"
As for as the algae growing under the dish drainer, it...
I just can't euphemize that. I can't. That was the final straw.
Combined with that horrific discovery and the manic-episode-inducing-happy-sunny springtime outside, it's as if someone shot me full of some sort of Crack-Ritalin cocktail.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF RIGHT NOW.
I'm going through a "This is why I'll never be an adult" cycle, and right now I'm full-on:
|This is so amazing that I feel guilty for using it, even when I give Allie credit for it. SOURCE: hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com|
Currently working on:
- Planning this entire week's meals and writing a grocery list for all the ingredients, organized into three different grocery stores, and BY AISLE. I'm serious about the Crack-Ritalin suspicions.
- Sterilizing/organizing the entire apartment.
- Redesigning zee old blog... it's gonna be COOL!
- Redesigning my professional portfolio-- I'll link you to it once the dust settles.
- Drawing, & painting, & learning a new architecture design program!
- Applying for volunteer jobs at animal shelters while I wait to hear back from architecture firms.
- Taking a shower every day!
- Planning PARTIES!!!
...I hope I don't crash too hard.
P.S. I finally thought of a way to euphemize the algae under the dish drainer: "At least that's ONE houseplant I can keep alive!" Buh-dum-PSHHH.