Cheddar makes it better

This also could have been titled "What happens when I have a harrowing, haggard week, and my PMS forms an alternate identity and decides to sit down with a glass of wine and write a guest post on my blog. Rawr."

Yup. This week has been disastrously stressful for not only me, but everyone I'm really close to as well.

You know what make makes it allll better?

EATING CHEESE FOR DINNER.

It's time for another recipe post, amigos.
You're gonna want to bookmark this babaaay.

AKA Broccoli Cheddar Soup.

Makes about 8 cups (1 regrettably large serving)

• 2 cups diced celery (about 4 stalks)
• 1 medium or large yellow onion, diced
• 2 large carrots, finely grated
• 3 tablespoons butter or veggie oil
• generous amounts of salt & pepper
• 1/2 cup cornstarch (or sub 1 cup flour if you reeeally have to, and double the amount of butter/veggie oil)
• 2 cups half & half
• 3 to 4 cups veggie broth (depending on how thick you want it)
• 1 lb chopped broccoli (frozen or fresh)
• 12 oz. cheddar cheese (the sharper the better)

1) Begin by chopping out your angst on the veggies. DIE, celery, DIE, into tiny little chunks.
...Watch your fingers.

Look at how HEALTHY we are! *patting myself on the back

2) Turn the stove on medium-high, and melt the butter (in the bottom of a large  cooking pot. Toss in the veggies, lots of black pepper, and enjoy the satisfying sizzle. Saute for about 5 minutes.

3) Remove from heat, and add the corn starch gradually while stirring.

4) This is where it starts getting exciting (i.e. the calories go through the roof). Turn the burner back up to medium, put the pot back on it, and add the half & half and the veggie broth.

There will be some cornstarch-butter business coating the bottom of the pan. Make sure to scrape this off, or it will burn and make the entire soup taste like DEVASTATING TRAGEDY.


5a) Let it cook & thicken for 25 minutes. Check back every ten minutes or so to stir it & scrape the bottom (just in case). If it's starting to boil & froth at the top, turn it down a few notches.

salt meeeeeee

5b) While you stir it: add salt, stir, taste, & repeat. Basically, add salt until it tastes as good as it smells. This will be a scary amount of salt. That's okay.

Try not to "taste" the entire pot away. (Because then you have to eat the broccoli all by itself and that's just not as fun.)

6) Add the broccoli & cook for about 10 minutes, until it's unfrozen/cooked to softness.

7) Meanwhile, find something really distracting to do because it smells AWESOME by now.

Oh HEY! You have some cheese to grate, don't you? Grate it. Aaand I listed 2 extra ounces in the ingredient list so you can snack a bit. You are so welcome.

"Cheese Mountain." Also could have been the name of my blog. 'Cause I'm so cheesy. PAAAhahaha. Ha.

8) Mix in the cheese until it melts.

9) Happy weekend.


Anybody else have a super weird week?
What are you doing to shake it off?

Guacamole in a Jar

It's been bothering my OCD that I have more blog posts tagged under "FOOD" than anything else, yet have never actually shared any recipes. (Kinda came close during "Operation Thanksgiving" in Sweden, but then I got sidetracked by talking about cannibalistic crows instead).

On that note: 

Guacamole in a Jar

All you really need is:

• 1 leftover glass pasta sauce jar* & an electric mixer
• 1 semi-smooshy avocado, cut into 1" cubes, or 1/40ths (sorry, blame the Matthews-er in me)
• salt & pepper
• 2 tbs (at least) of lime juice-- fresh, or from a bottle, OR you can also substitute lemon juice & it will still be awesome.

But here's some optional awesomeness:

• 1/4 red onion, diced (you can use other varieties, but red onion just tastes more Mexican to me. Awkward but true.)
• finely diced jalapeño
• chopped cilantro (I just grab a bunch in my hand and hack at it with scissors) (...the cilantro, I mean)
• OR: a couple spoonfuls of salsa because somebody already cut all the stuff up for you.

*Why a jar? We wash & save jars to store all our leftovers in. It's cheaper than tupperware, won't melt in the microwave, won't stain/absorb weird smells, and is probably healthier than plastic. This habit led to just making guacamole right in the jar, because doing dishes sucks.

1. Put everything in the jar.

2. Put one beater on the mixer, & beat away.  

Revolutionary!! HAHAHA. Ha. Haha. So punny.

3. I was going to say, "Don't forget to lick the beater," but it's just too awkward when it's part of something's face and makes you think of horrible, horrible conjunctivitis.

( Herman is special, he only needed one sticker.)

4. Spoon onto burritos, oh heck YES.

5. Hopefully, you saved the lid from that jar. Screw it on & stick the leftovers in the fridge!

...If there are leftovers.