Friday, June 17

I promise this isn't as bad as it sounds.

We broke our bed.

(I kind of wish it were as bad as it sounds, because that would be super impressive.)

My giant flirt of a husband picked up all of my 140+ lbs, flipped me in the air, and chucked me onto the bed. There was a deafening crack, a moment of wide-eyed silence, and then... nervous laughter. We took off the top mattress, and flipped the bed frame up onto its side:


Within an hour after moving the mattress to the living room, the naked bed frame was covered in Stuff.
Of course, this is to be expected according the The Law of Horizontal Surfaces, which states that "any horizontal surface in a 700-square-feet-or-less apartment must be covered in Stuff."

But moving our mattress to the living room has been the best part of this whole ordeal. Welcome to the Matthews-ers' (Monogamous) Harem -Style Bouncy Fun House! Who needs carpet when you can have foam-covered springs?!

Open the doors and windows, and curl up with a book. Come in through the door and bounce your way across the room. Giggle in the dark for an hour after you turn the lights off because it feels like a fifth-grade sleepover without parental supervision (I guess that's the kind of mentality that got us here in the first place).

Five Otter Pops says it'll stay there until August.

17 comments:

The Woven Moments said...

Your mattress is ALSO a horizontal surface. It, too, will be covered in "stuff" (potato chip crumbs, books, magazines, etc) in 3....2....1.....

Precious and Jemily said...

I want a sleep over!! During a summer season in Switzerland myself and a boy I was kissing both shared rooms so needed our private time (read: sexy time)... each night we would build a fort in the common room and it totally rocked... we had torches and everything. We played in it and had so much fun we kinda forgot we had done it to be frisky in private! And then everyone got jealous and they too wanted a fort... so we sneaked back to the bedroom teehee...

J x

Kanette said...

This reminds me of the time our hydabed couch got stuck in the bed position when we lived on High Street. I was a super classy way to greet guests when they came over.

Hugh said...

Crazy. The exact same thing happened to our box spring, except in our case it was our 6'5 friend Sydney who decided to jump into bed (woops). We still use it however, and other than a slight depression in the center, it seems to work just fine.

Caitlin said...

My brother-in-law broke our ancient bedFRAME by leaping onto it once (he's kind of gross). we finally got a metal one with a new mattress and boxspring...hopefully it'll last :)

I'd love to have a sleepover!

Jeff said...

My wife and I were staying with my aunt and uncle in Germany last summer. We totally broke their bed. Just like you, it wasn't as bad as it sounds. We apparently just dropped ourselves onto the bed with too much gusto.

They were totally cool about it but they definitely used the opportunity to make all sorts of really awkward jokes.

Not who I will be said...

Looks conveniently comfy to me!

When I was in college this guy who was visiting my roommate (and I guess is my friend) came to say hello and THREW himself onto my bed breaking three of the wooden slats. He was not a big guy either. I still harass him about that to this day.

Adrian Waller said...

HA! This reminds me of when I first got married to my wife and we moved into our first apartment. All we had for cooling was a weird A/C unit that was only in the living room. So for the first week or two, we heaved our bed to and from the bedroom, trying to decide if we would be sleeping in the living room or the bedroom. Thankfully, it cooled off enough that we didn't have to leave our bed in the living room, but it was pretty funny!

April said...

you guys crack me up!! Sounds like we are just a bed-breaking kind of crowd...?

& Kanette, I loooved having that excuse to keep our hide-a-bed out! Made for some priceless roomie snuggles : >

@J, I love how you refer to him as "a boy I was kissing." so cute!

vojacque said...

this made me laugh at loud. :) and your little space is so lovely! i love how bright it is.

also: i love your portfolio. i love how interactive and clean it is. easy to navigate, too. you are so talented! your work is amazing. :)

April said...

Jacque, you're so nice!!!

For my portfolio, I used wix.com. It was fun and not too hard to do, if you ever need to make one of your own! : )

Kelley @ Kelley Maria said...

Bummer the bed broke, but I like how you improvised and just turned the living room into a bedroom - it's a studio now! I can only imagine the look on your face when you heard cracking noise! haha

Sam said...

@K-net and April: Aaaaaw! I miss the broken bed days on High Street. Those were some of the best days ever! I loved all the snuggle orgies that came as a result of that catastrophe. However, it did make first dates a little awkward. It was like, "you can uuuum just sit here on the uuuum bed (voice crack) with me." That wasn't suggestive at all.

Paul | All Groan Up said...

I see your five otter pops and I raise you two ring pops and GI Joe

Ashley said...

From time to time we sleep out in the living room when our bed gets covered in stuff. Laundry days, major cleaning, etc.

We say it's just for a night. And we usually clean up the next day. But weeks later, we finally crawl back into bed.

Nanoinfinity said...

"The Law of Horizontal Surfaces"

I have a bad habit of draping clean clothes over the top of the dirty laundry basket and forever confusing myself.

And, oh my, the candles on top of papers on top of books on top of picture frames that have been knocked over on top of more papers on top of the thing I really need to find RIGHT THIS MOMENT...

We went two years without a bedframe and it was awesome. I didn't have to look under the bed to find all my lost socks. I saw a special on the Playboy Mansion once and they had a TV room with a padded floor. I was like "Kay, that's really skanky but I want one." I think your version is better.

April said...

@ Nano-- Yesss, a padded floor would be awesome! or a trampoline room. With a velcro ceiling & velcro vests.... Damn, I should be an architect ; )