Friday, March 11

Things I have in common with Tinkerbell

I vividly remember boxing up my shoes when I moved out for college, and being struck with the realization that I didn't own a single pair that would look strange if a man wore them.
{click to zooooom in on those flying mud globules}
Running shoes, Birkenstocks, and trashy Goodwill boots. That was it.


You know where this is going: I've come a long way in four years (or should I say, 10 pairs of girly flats later).
Surprise! I had two extra legs you didn't know about. And no, of course I don't have time to shave all of them.

Honestly, though, it's times like these I really appreciate the fact that Jason is extremely secure in his masculinity. And wears the same shoe size as me.

So, while I realize the following will irrevocably tarnish my tomboy reputation, I've just gotta say... THESE are now my favorite pair of shoes that I've EVER owned:
EVER. Which will forever be the one & only thing I have in common with Tinkerbell.*

I can't write about girly shoes without quoting a hilarious little musing from my pal, Kristie:
"Today I wore some flats (the cute ballet-looking ones that have been in style for a little while now) that I stole from my sister. I rarely wear flats because they give me the distinct impression of cross-dressing. I feel like a drag queen right now."
She nailed it! That's exactly what had constrained me to man-shoes the first two decades of my life. And PERHAPS this is even the same reason I had to bribe Jason to wear them...? Eh. Who knows.

I distinctly remember the first time I wore a pair of girly flats: Jason looked at me all day with a slightly-smiling, head-tilted-to-the-side "awwww" face, and I got over my macho complex. Apparently I'm a sellout for the "awwww."

Something that still makes me feel like a man dressing as a woman, though? PURSES. I don't care how much "awwww" gets sent my way, I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT carry a purse. I can hardly even hold them for my friends when they need a free hand... they make me feel as awkward as Sylvester Stallone in tights and a tutu.

And, while it's not exactly the shocker of the century: above all else, blonde wigs REALLY make me feel like a drag queen.

That's how this shoe thing started out.

*Unless a giant boy in green tights grabs me & shakes me up & down like a pepper shaker to get my Tinkle-powder-or-whatever-it's-called so he can fly. What a friend YOU were, Pete, what. a. friend.


L.Baker said...

Have you considered buying a pair of Toms? Each pair you buy, they send a pair to a child in need. And I don't think they'd make you feel like a drag queen b/c they cute on both girls and boys! Anyhoo, cute shoes!

April said...

Yeah, I love Toms! But I'm trying to cut myself off from any new shoes for a while... : )

Those fluffball shoes totally reminded me of you & your love of the T-bell, so I'm glad you read this post!

Teri said...

I'm confused with the picture of 4 feet. Does someone literally have 2 left feet?

April said...

Nope! I was sitting on Jason's lap, so our feet were all mixed up.

But I'll leave it to you to guess who's wearing the black tights, and who's wearing the leopard ones ; )

Nanoinfinity said...

I giggled at "And no, of course I don't have time to shave all of them." because I'm pretty sure that, if I had four legs, I really wouldn't shave them all. That's a load of time commitment.

Okay, so I just realized I need shoes with a fluffball on them. I've seen them online and was kinda "meh" but seeing them on real feet makes me realize how adorable and fun they are.

... I'm off to catch a tribble.

Kristie said...

So now the question is, do you feel like Tinkerbell in those shoes? I think I would. Or rather, due to my own warped mind, like Tinkerbell in drag. :) They do look wonderfully cute and Aprily on you, though.
I agree with you on purses, though I do carry what most people would refer to as a "purse." I like to think of it as my adventure pack. Lipstick belongs in purses. Library cards and CPR emergency kits belong in adventure packs (yes, I do carry both of these in there).

Julie said...

I love your blog! Great shoes by the way :)

April said...

@nano-- Yeah, even with two legs I've been known to shave just one shin then quit out of boredom : ) You made my (and Mr. Matthews-er's) day with the Tribble mention. I'm never going to look at those shoes the same way again...!

@K-- I'd have to really be having a bad day to feel like Tinkerbell. I remember being annoyed at her vicious little fairy attitude when I was a kid. And you ALSO made Jason's day with the "adventure pack" commentary. You made my day with your sassy use of italics.

@Julie: hello new friend! Glad you like my shoes... and blog : )

Sam said...

This reminds me of the blessed day that you DID decide to shave your legs in the shower that you shared with Kanette. I remember it so vividly....

You got out of the shower and were showing off your erotically exposed legs (because in Apirly-Ann world being fur free for the first time in three months is erotic)in the kitchen while I was doing dishes (another first in three months) and Kanette was getting ready to get in the shower.

Kanette, in her shark-like glory, came running out of the shower declaring that you needed to remove the remnants of your leg hair from the tub because it was clogging the drain.

This most definitely makes the the top three best college moments list. It's right up there with Kanette's St. Patrick's Day Dinosaur Adventure!

Miss you guys! said...

Came over here from Married in Chicago's blog because your comment that San Francisco is your favorite city meant that you were a girl I was definitely going to like. San Francisco is my all-time favorite city & your blog is awesome! New reader for sure ;) (And the Tinkerbell shoes? Adorable!)

Married In Chicago said...

Once again you make me laugh laugh laugh. The picture of the two of you wearing your shoes is just PRICELESS.

Can I tell you that I LOVE birkenstocks? I wore the same pair from like 8thth grade until after I graduated college. It was a sad sad sad day when I get to get rid of them. In fact, this post really makes me want to buy another pair!

I like the girl flats, but don't even get me started on heels. Those I just don't get.

DaShannon said...

HA! what a guy :)